Buying a home is stressful for many couples. Not only are they making decisions that will affect their lives for years to come, they also are being asked to make them under less-than-perfect circumstances – like an uncertain housing market.

Psychologist Linda Sapadin offers three stress minimizers to home-buying couples:

• Don’t turn on each other. “Recognize that this is a stressful process, and if you blame the other person, then what you usually get is counter-blame,” she says. “So it’s much better to put the blame on the process.”

• Don’t expect perfection. “You want to assume that things are not going to go perfectly, that there’s going to be some unexpected difficulties, expenses, problems to solve,” Sapadin says, “so just know that up-front.”

• Speak to supporters before you speak to your critics. “There could be one relative who says, ‘What?! You’re spending that much money?’ or ‘You’re moving there?’ Don’t tell that person until you and your partner are united,” Sapadin says. “If there’s some part of you that is uncertain, you don’t want to undermine that uncertainty by speaking to your critics.”

Source: Newsday, Dina Santorelli (01/25/08)